


My Secret Shame

by kisstheliesofsummerlovers



Category: Glee
Genre: Drug Abuse, M/M, Panic Attacks, Rehabilitation, Self-Harm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-20
Updated: 2014-08-23
Packaged: 2018-02-13 22:07:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 5,128
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2166924
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kisstheliesofsummerlovers/pseuds/kisstheliesofsummerlovers
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kurt struggles with an anxiety disorder that no one believes is real. He tries a method that helps for a short time, but it takes more each time he uses it. He meets a boy who says he can help, but he may only make things worse for Kurt. Maybe an old friend from Dalton is who he needs.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Demon Within

**Author's Note:**

> This started out as a fic about my struggle with my panic disorder, putting Kurt in my place. I did take the medication described here, but I did not get them from a drug dealer and I wasn't addicted to them. The other things Kurt does, I did. I had my mom to help me instead of a significant other, like Blaine was to Kurt. I hope you enjoy it. It has helped me to get my story out.

                        “Kurt, stop right now” Burt yells at his sixteen year old son. Kurt has been acting like this for weeks now and Burt just can’t understand why. Why has his sweet little boy has turned into something he doesn’t recognize? “You stop yelling in my face old man.” Kurt really doesn’t know he is saying these things. It’s like something, some invisible force, is taking over his body. He fights for control, but loses. For weeks this has been happening. One minute he will be fine and the next he is yelling and screaming and throwing things out of pure anger. He has nothing to be angry about, it just overwhelms him. “I said stop Kurt.” Burt tries to be calm, but his patience is wearing thin. “Screw you” Kurt screamed and strutted out of the room. Kurt hasn’t told anyone about what he is feeling. He keeps to himself during his classes and eats lunch with a group of friends, but stays quiet most of the time. Glee club used to be his outlet, the one thing he could control, the one thing he loved. But even that has become just another part of his life. He feels like he is on autopilot and can’t switch it off. His panic attacks don’t usually happen at school, he is terrified of what he would be capable of if they did.

                        The other day Kurt was making and a grilled ham and cheese when one hit him. He grabbed the hot pan and threw it across the room. It slammed up against the refrigerator and a few magnets fell. His entire body tensed up and he fought to keep his hands steady on the counter, using all his weight to push them down. He couldn’t even feel the sting of the burn, which was now developing into a blister on his hand. His dad walked in and just looked at Kurt. “What?” Kurt yelled through gritted teeth. “What’s wrong with you lately?” Burt questioned. Kurt fought as hard as he could not to, but he lost control of his body, grabbed the knife he had used to cut the ham and lugged it toward his father. Burt ducked, turned to his son and screamed “room now,” not hiding the disgust in his voice. Kurt stormed out leaving his sandwich behind. When he got to his room, he lay on his bed and cried. “Why did I do that? I could have hurt him. What the hell is wrong with me?” He looked over at the night stand and saw his pocket knife, sun from the window glistening off it. Whatever force had taken over before now tried to again. It urged Kurt to grab the knife and flip it open. This time he didn’t fight. He stared at the blade for a few seconds and then his wrist, the force egging him on. He slowly slid he thumb over the edge of it. It cut just a little. Kurt saw the blood and was scared, but he was pushed to continue. He dragged the blade over his wrist and blood started to pour down his arm. Kurt closed his eyes and felt the tenseness in his muscles release. It was like this thing that was controlling him was sucked out of him from the cut. He knew it wasn’t right, but it released him.

                      It wasn’t until two days later that he had another attack. After yelling “screw you” at his father, Kurt found himself in his bathroom holding his knife. He pushed his sleeve up and made a cut under his wrist. He felt a release, but not as strong as the first time. He hesitated, but slid the knife across his arm again. There it was. There was the release he was looking for. He cleaned up and pulled his sleeve back down.

                      Two days later, like clockwork, anxiety struck him while he was studying alone in his room. Books and papers went flying off the bed. By this time Kurt had stopped trying to fight and went straight for his knife. This time it took four cuts to feel that same relief. Kurt sighed. He noticed was taking more now. But it was the only thing that worked, he couldn’t just stop. 

                      The attacks became more frequent and the cuts multiplied. One morning, while he was getting ready for school, he looked at his arms in the mirror. His elbows down to his wrists on both arms were painted with scars and dried blood. Even his hands showed a few minor cuts. He tugged on his long sleeve shirt and made sure it hid all the scars. This was getting out of hand, but he couldn’t stop. Burt didn’t believe there was something wrong with the chemistry in Kurt’s brain; no, it wasn’t a medical problem. He decided his son was just acting out. Burt had started dating again and he figured Kurt was just upset. He also never really looked at Kurt anymore; he never saw the signs that Kurt was hurting himself. Burt had never gone through something like that, so he couldn’t understand the anxiety attacks. He couldn’t wrap his head around the fact that someone could have a mental disorder that didn’t require being locked up in a hospital.


	2. A New Method

                         Kurt had walked to the music store after school. He wanted to find something new for glee club as he had started to get back into it. “Hey. What ya got there?” A pale boy with glasses and a beanie approached Kurt. “Just trying to find some new music” Kurt sighed. “Uh-huh” the boy scoffed, “I can help with that.” “I bet” Kurt said, not making eye contact. The boy laughed and grabbed Kurt’s hand.  Kurt immediately tensed up, but the boy was calm as he held it. “Not music, this” he said and rubbed his thumb across the scar on Kurt’s hand. “I’m Chandler, by the way.” “I’m Kurt. Can you really help me?” “Kurt” Chandler repeated.”Yes I can help. Walk with me.” The two exited the store and went around the corner. A brick-red pickup was parked across the street. Chandler opened the passenger door and told Kurt to hop in. Then he got in the driver’s side. He pulled a small baggie out of the glove box and handed it to Kurt. It contained few small, blue, football-shaped pills. “Take one of these of these when you wanna cut. It’ll help.” “Are you sure these will help me stop?” Kurt asked. “Yeah, I’m sure. These are on the house. Try ‘em. If they work for ya, I’ll sell ya some more.” Kurt nodded and stuffed them in his pocket along with Chandler’s number. He went straight to his room when he got home and put the bag of pills in his nightstand. Out of sight, out of mind… for now.

                         It was that same night that he had on attack. He grabbed his knife and flipped it open. “No, take one of the pills” he said aloud as the knife fell from his hand to the bedroom floor. He retrieved the bag and went in the bathroom. His breathing was hard, almost labored. The force that drove the attacks implored him to cut. He turned on the faucet and sucked some water into his mouth. He dropped two of the pills in and swallowed hard. He was still battling not to cut himself as he slid to the bathroom floor. A few minutes went by. They were the longest few minutes of his life, but Kurt felt so much better afterward. “Yes” he thought,”I didn’t cut.”

                         The pills only lasted him a few days, so he called Chandler. “Hey. It’s Kurt. I need more.” Chandler told Kurt where to meet him and hung up the phone. Kurt slipped past his sleeping father and hurried to the Lima Bean. Chandler was waiting in his truck. “Got the cash?” he questioned as Kurt slid into the passenger seat. “Yea. How much?” Chandler slowly took out some of the blue footballs. “Dollar a pop or fifteen for ten.” Kurt pulled twenty dollars out of his wallet and handed it to Chandler as the other boy counted thirty pills. “Here ya go buddy. I’ll see ya ‘round.” Kurt hid the baggie in his coat and entered the Lima Bean. He figured that if he got a coffee, he would have an alibi for his dad if he asked where he went. There were only two other people in the line. The one in front of him was a slightly shorter boy with dark, neatly gelled hair. He was clad in a long black coat and checkered scarf. There was something familiar about him, but Kurt couldn’t place his finger on it. “I’ll have a medium drip please” the boy said. “Kurt?” the boy asked as he turned away from the counter with his cup. “Blaine? Wow it’s good to see you” Kurt answered. “You too. Hey can I buy you a coffee, maybe sit and talk a bit?” Kurt nodded and the boys sat in a corner booth. “So how are things back at McKinley?” Blaine asked. Kurt hesitated a bit. The response that ran through his mind was “well I’m having these episodes that make me cut myself, and I met a drug dealer who sold me Xanax and I might be addicted.”  He finally gathered his thoughts and replied. “Good. What about Dalton?”

“Same old story.”

“Not missing much, am I?”

“No, not really. I have some new stuff planned for regionals. “Candles” by Hey Monday.”

“Good song. I know you’ll be great.”Just then Kurt’s phone rang. “It’s my dad. Hello” Kurt answered. Blaine couldn’t hear what Burt was saying, but he sure was loud. “I came down to the Lima Bean for some coffee and ran into Blaine…Dad I… Ok I’m on my way home.” Kurt huffed and grabbed his bag. “Well I had a great time. Can I see you again?” Blaine asked. Kurt was a little weary of it, but maybe his friend could help. “Sure. Here’s my number. I gotta go.” Blaine muttered a thanks as his eyes followed Kurt.

                     Back at home Burt gave his son the third degree. Kurt just sat still in his chair. “Where were you?”

“At the Lima Bean, like I told you on the phone.”

“Why did you leave?”

“I started to have an attack, so I left to clear my head.”

“Oh really. It’s a wonder you didn’t hit anybody, considering how mad you get with these little temper tantrums.” Burt had raised his voice now.

“They’re not temper tantrums dad” Kurt yelled back.

“Then what are they? … Hunh?” Kurt was silent, so Burt lowered his tone. “Yea, that’s what I thought. Just go to your room, and don’t ever leave this house unless I know where you’re going.” Kurt nodded and went upstairs, fighting an attack. When he got to his room and closed the door, he punched the wall as hard as he could. He took the pills out of his coat and took two. He couldn’t figure out why his father was so ignorant. It pissed him off so much that someone who claimed to love him could treat him this way. He took another pill.

                   Thirty pills lasted Kurt a week. He took at least three every day, if not four. He liked the way he felt taking them. He felt light, the heaviness of reality being lifted from his shoulders. This time Chandler wanted Kurt to sneak out late and walk to the corner. Kurt obliged and when Chandler drove up, he hopped in as usual. He bought sixty pills this time, which lasted a week and a half.

                   Blaine and Kurt texted back forth a few times a week before they both got busy with their glee clubs preparing for regionals. They still got text from time to time, but nothing like before. Kurt continued to take Xanax four and five at a time. His friends in glee club started to notice he was acting funny, but they all brushed it off. Even his dad took notice, but Burt was just happy his “temper tantrums” were over. Little did he know his son was becoming heavily addicted to Xanax.


	3. Trouble Brews

                      A few weeks later, Chandler met Kurt at the Lima Bean for another sell. Kurt followed his usual routine. “I got something new for ya” Chandler grinned. Kurt looked at the bag he was holding. He took out a few white bars. “These are stronger than what you been getting. These are five apiece.” Kurt looked a little confused. “Do they work the same?” he asked. Chandler nodded ”it’s the same stuff, just stronger. You can take less.” Kurt pulled out the hundred dollars he had put together stealing from his father a little at a time. He tucked the bag in his pocket and started to walk home. As he passed a water fountain, he stopped and ate one of the bars, drinking some water when he was finished.

                     He took one every day, two if he had a panic attack. Soon, Chandler taught Kurt to crush and snort them. Kurt started stealing money from his friends’ purses and wallets. He even stole from Mr. Schuester. He was in deep, too deep.

                     After the New Year, Kurt started skipping class to get high in the bathroom. Then skipping school and hiding in the graveyard he passed on his way. Everyone thought he was sick when he missed an entire week of class. But the truth was, on Thursday of that week, he had run out. He spent Friday morning pretending to be sick. Burt had left him at home, not realizing the twenty dollars Kurt had stolen. He called Chandler, but he didn’t answer. He tried again and again. Still no answer. Kurt went out driving to look for his dealer. He asked around, but no one had seen him.

                     Then it was Saturday. Still no response from Chandler. Kurt had already begun to have headaches. He didn’t realize it was the start of withdrawals, he just knew his head was pounding. He went out looking for Chandler again. This time, he was determined to get his Xanax from someone. He drove almost to Westerville and pulled into a gas station. There was a small alleyway next to it. Kurt walked around the store to the alley. A tall black man was standing behind a dumpster. Kurt walked toward him and asked if he had any Xanax for sale. The man replied with a nod and motioned Kurt closer. “You got cash?” he asked in a deep voice. “Yea. I’m looking for bars.” The man reached into his pocket and pulled out a switch blade. Suddenly Kurt was gripped by another man who had walked up behind him. “Give it here” the man demanded. Kurt was smart enough not to fight and handed the money over. “Don’t you ever let me catch you around here again boy.” Kurt was frightened and tried to break free. The man that held him laughed and threw him up against the wall, hard, and the two walked away. Kurt melted into a ball. He wanted to get up and go find them, take back his money and whatever else he could. He knew he wasn’t strong enough for that so he pulled out his knife. A vision popped into his head. It was himself stabbing the two men who robbed him, twisting the knife before pulling it back out. This hadn’t happened before and it scared Kurt worse than the men had. He quickly slid the blade across his wrist. It went a little too deep this time. Blood gushed out of the wound. Kurt looked down, but his eyes were fuzzy. He passed out.


	4. Rock Bottom

                    Blaine was driving home from school when his car sputtered to a halt. “Out of gas, really.” He huffed as he got of his car and rummaged in the back seat for the gas can.  He was walking to the nearest gas station when something in the alley next to it caught his eye. It was a teenage boy. Blaine stepped closer and realized he was bleeding. As Blaine got a little closer, he realized who the boy was. “Kurt. Kurt are you ok?” When he didn’t get a response, Blaine quickly dialed 911. “911. What’s your emergency?” the operator said. “My friend’s hurt. He needs help.”

“How is he hurt?”

“His arm is cut up and he’s passed out.”

“Is he breathing?”

“Yes, just unresponsive.”

“Help will be there shortly. I’ll stay on the line with you until they arrive.”

“Thank you.” Blaine took off his scarf and wrapped it around Kurt’s arm. He waited in despair until the ambulance pulled in. 

                 The medics stopped the bleeding and took Kurt to the hospital. Blaine rode with him in the ambulance and called his dad. He explained where and how he found Kurt. Burt hung up the phone.

                Back at the hospital, Blaine was asked several questions by the nurse before being led to the waiting room since he wasn’t family. Burt was there, asking the receptionist about his son. “Mr. Hummel?” Blaine asked. Burt turned around to meet the young boy’s gaze. “What happened Blaine?” Blaine sighed and retold his story. “Like I told you on the phone, I was walking to the gas station when I saw someone lying in the alley. I got closer and realized it was Kurt. He was just lying there, barely breathing, and his arm was bleeding. I called 911 and used my scarf to stop the bleeding” Blaine said. “So you don’t know why he was there or anything?”Burt questioned, not believing him. ”No. The only reason I was there was my car ran out of gas on my way to lunch. Dalton’s not far from where I found him.” Burt just stared at Blaine. “Hummel.” A nurse had come out from the emergency room. Burt walked over to her and Blaine followed behind. “Are you Mr. Hummel?” Burt nodded. ”Right this way.” Burt started to follow, but was interrupted by Blaine. “Can I come too?” Burt nodded and they went into the ER led by the nurse. Kurt’s room wasn’t far past the doors. “The doctor will be in shortly” the nurse said before closing the door. Blaine sat beside Kurt’s bed while Burt leaned up against the wall. The only thing that could be heard was the sound of the clock ticking. The doctor finally came in. “Mr. Hummel?”

“Yes Doctor.”

“I have good reason to believe your son’s injury was self inflicted. I also ran a toxicology report. It showed a good quantity of Xanax in his system. Does Kurt take anything for anxiety?”

“No. Is he on drugs?”

“Quite possibly. Have you noticed a change in his behavior lately?”

“Well his temper tantrums have stopped, but I just thought had given them up.”

“Temper tantrums?”

“He would get mad and throw things or yell. It had been going on for a while and then he just stopped.”

“Mr. Hummel these temper tantrums are most likely panic attacks. He could have found Xanax on the street and took them to help the attacks.”

“You’re saying he’s sick. That he wasn’t just acting out.”

“Most likely, yes. I’m going to refer him to a psychiatrist. They will evaluate his behavior and decide what kind of treatment he needs.”

“Thank you doctor.”

                   The doctor nodded and left the room. Burt sank to the floor. His heart was heavy with grief and anger. How could he not have known his own son was sick? Why did he not see that Kurt needed him? How could he be so stupid?


	5. Recovery Part 1

                Kurt was kept overnight for observation and more blood products. He lost almost four pints and his white blood cells were low. Also, he had a psychiatric evaluation the next morning. Burt stayed.

Blaine arrived at 11:20 the next morning and was led to Kurt’s room. Burt looked like he hadn’t slept all night. Kurt was asleep so Blaine tried to make small talk, but Burt wouldn’t let him. “How’s the football team at McKin...”

“Why are you even here?”

“I’m here for Kurt.”

“Yeah well where have you been the last six months, hunh?”

“Me. Where were you? You lived with him. I only got to talk to him on the phone, and he sounded just fine.”

“Look here boy. I love my son…”

“Well you have a lousy way of showing it.”

“Stop” a small, groggy voice arose from the hospital bed. The argument had gotten loud and woke Kurt up. They stopped and both moved closer to the bed. “Can I have a moment alone with my son?” Blaine looked at Kurt for assurance and, when he nodded, left the room. Burt started on Kurt the minute he heard the door slam shut. “What the hell, Kurt. You’re on drugs now. If you were really having a problem, why didn’t you come to me about it?”

“Because you never understood what was going on with me. I told you they weren’t temper tantrums, that something was wrong. You didn’t believe me.”

“So you turn to street drugs, Kurt? Are you that stupid?”

“No, not at first. I was cutting myself. It helped, a lot at first. Then my arms were all cut up and it wasn’t helping as much. I met a guy at the music store. He told me he could help me and gave me a bag of pills. They really worked. But then I just couldn’t stop taking them.”

“I can’t even look at you right now.” Burt stormed out, shoving past Blaine on his way. Blaine peeked through the open door and saw Kurt crying. “Can I come in?” Kurt nodded, wiping away tears. Blaine sat on Kurt’s bed and held his hand. “Thank you. You saved my life.”

“Don’t mention it. Kurt, why were you there. That’s not a good part of town.”

“I was looking for Xanax. I’m addicted to them. Can you get me some? The nurses have them in their carts.”

“Kurt, I really care about you, but I won’t support your habit. I want to help you beat it.”

“If you really care about me, you’ll get my pills for me.”

“Kurt, do you believe in God?”

“Just get me some pills.”

“I do and I’m gonna be praying for you. I’ll see you tomorrow, ok?”

“If you aren’t gonna help me, don’t bother.”

“Take care.” Blaine smiled and walked out. Soon the nurse came in. Kurt asked for his Xanax again. The nurse handed him a pill cup with three small pills, and some water. “I need you to take these for me.” Kurt took the down quickly. One was a very small dose of Xanax. The other two were placebos, or sugar pills. She asked about Kurt’s pain level, thanked him, and left the room.

                At 1:00, the psychiatrist came to see Kurt. He asked some questions as Kurt told him about his panic attacks, the cutting, and his addiction. He also asked Kurt to describe his home life and his school. He was with Kurt for an hour before leaving. He called Burt as soon as he got to his office. “Hello?” Burt answered. “Yes, may I speak with Mr. Hummel please?”

“This is he.”

“Yes, I’m Dr. Huffstetler calling from Lima General Hospital about your son, Kurt. I was just in with him for his psych eval. I would like to talk to you both about some different treatment options. Is there any way you could come here and meet with me?”

“I’m actually down in the cafeteria. I never left. I’ll be back up to his room in just a minute.”

                Dr. Huffstetler went over a few different rehab facilities and gave his opinions on them. Burt chose one his insurance would cover. “Can I see you outside for a moment?” the doctor asked Burt. Once outside the room, Dr. Huffstetler whispered to Burt. “We are giving him a very small dose of Xanax to help combat withdrawals. It will give him a much better chance to get and remain drug free. I am going to suggest this to the rehab facility, but I can’t guarantee they will continue doing so.”The next day Kurt was moved to rehab.


	6. Recovery Part 2

                  Kurt stayed in rehab for a month before being released. He called both his dad and Blaine every week. When Kurt saw his father for the first time, he leaped into his arms. “I’m so sorry dad. They put me on a good medicine and gave me ways to fight my panic attacks and not cut or take Xanax.” Burt just hugged his son that much tighter. “I love you, Kurt. I’ve missed you so much. I swear anything you need you let me know, ok?” Kurt started to cry. “I love you too dad.” Kurt spent the whole ride home talking about all the things he did and all the friends he made in rehab like it was a summer camp.

                  Back at home, Blaine had assembled the McKinley glee club to surprise Kurt when he got home. Burt had texted Blaine a few minutes before pulling in the driveway. Burt unlocked the door and stepped aside. “Surprise!!!” For once, Kurt had no idea he was being surprised. “Oh my… You guys, aw you really shouldn’t have.”  There were balloons and streamers and a big “Welcome Home” sign. There were even a few gifts for Kurt. They all ate and talked for a while. Rachel had brought Kurt a new cardigan. The boys (excluding Blaine) had pulled together to get Kurt a shiny new watch. Mercedes and Tina bought him a fedora. Quinn, Santana and Brittany got him a unicorn statue. “Brit picked it out” Santana sighed when Kurt opened their gift. “Because even though you were really sick, you got better. And you’re still my unicorn!” Brittany smiled. “Thanks guys. You all really didn’t have to do this” Kurt said. “You forgot one” Blaine pulled a small box out of his jacket. “This is from me.” Kurt pulled out a beautiful silver chain, Blaine knew he hated gold.  “It goes with this one from me” said Burt. Kurt opened the other box to find a round charm that said “One Month Sober”.  Kurt started to cry again as put the charm on the silver chain. He hugged Blaine first. “Thank you, so much.” Then his dad wrapped his arms around them both.

                 Everyone helped clean up and then went home, leaving Kurt, Blaine and Burt. “I’ll leave you two to talk.” Blaine led Kurt to the couch and they sat down. “Kurt, being away from you so long, not being able to see you, it made me realize I don’t want to be your friend. I want… to be your…” Blaine drew a long breath in before saying ”boyfriend.” Kurt didn’t answer, he just threw his arms around Blaine and said “good because I want you to be.” Kurt leaned up a bit and there was a few seconds of awkward silence before they leaned in slow and kissed.


	7. A New Outlook

A few weeks had passed and it was almost Kurt’s two months. He had only thought of relapsing and cutting once. He called Blaine and he came over.  He stuck by Kurt all night and convinced him not to relapse.

                Blaine and Kurt were at Breadsticks for dinner that Sunday. “I have an idea to celebrate your two months.”

“Really. Do tell.”

“Dinner with your dad of course, but before that, come to worship team practice with me.”

“Blaine, I just don’t know. I’m really not sure.”

“You don’t have to sing, just listen.”

“I’ll think about it.”

                Tuesday came and Kurt still wasn’t sure about all this, but he wanted to do it for Blaine. He picked Kurt up at noon and they headed to Blaine’s church. Blaine sang in the worship team every Sunday. Kurt struck up a conversation on the way. “Blaine doesn’t the bible say we aren’t supposed to be together. I mean, won’t they say things?” Blaine sighed. He knew it was coming sooner or later. “No actually what it says is we can’t get married or have sex. Being gay isn’t a sin, acting on it is.”

“But aren’t we acting on it?”

“Not yet. Look Kurt, a sin is a sin, no matter how big or how small. In the Old Testament, people burned a lamb as a sacrifice for their sins. God decided to send his only son as a lamb to sacrifice for all the sins of mankind. As long as we ask for forgiveness, God erases our sins. No one man can say he has never sinned, but God loves us all. As long as we open our hearts and try to live right, we will be in the Kingdom of Heaven forever.”

“You really believe that? I mean it seems farfetched don’t you think?”

“Seeing is not believing, Kurt. Believing is seeing.”

“Well if you say so, then I promise to try to believe. Just don’t force it on me, okay?”

“I would never.”

                When they arrived, the rest of the worship team was there. Blaine introduced Kurt to each one, including the pastor. They took their spots on stage and began an upbeat fun song. Kurt loved the tune. When that one had finished, they started another with the same upbeat feel. Pretty soon Kurt was tapping his foot along to the beat. The third song they did was slower, more relaxed. Kurt practically jumped out of his skin when the female lead singer began to praise loudly. There last song was another slow one. Blaine led this one.

 _Seems like all I could see was the struggle                                                                                                                                                                                                            Haunted  by ghosts that lived in my past_ _Bound up in shackles of all of my failures                                                                                                                                                                                                  Wondering how long is this gonna last_ _And you look at this prisoner and say to me, son                                                                                                                                                                                                Stop fighting a fight that’s already been won_

__I am redeemed, you set me free _So I’ll shake off these heavy chains_                                                                                                                                                                                                                       _And wipe away every stain_                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      _I’m not who I used to be_                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          ' _Cause I am redeemed__ _

               Kurt fell to his knees and bowed his head. The pastor stopped playing and came over to Kurt. He laid his hand on Kurt and prayed out loud. Then he asked Kurt if he wanted to accept Jesus into his heart. Kurt nodded and they prayed the sinners’ prayer. Kurt came back to church that Sunday and every one after.


End file.
